With A Heavy Heart

by Old Notes

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1.
Condolence 00:01
2.
Solace 04:42
I got the call in the morning, Eyes wide and mourning. The loss of life and a friend, It takes over breathing. I stood idle by, Pleading you not to die. Asking why? You left us by the roadside. Taking on, Your demons for too long. Resenting, The idea that you’re gone. I never thought that this be it. Late nights at Corky’s they’d cease to exist. This pain is growing like a cyst in my heart. Knowing that we’d always be apart. I stood idle by, Pleading you not to die. Asking why? You left us by the roadside. Taking on, Your demons for too long. Resenting, The idea that you’re gone. Time has crept up again. No longer a helping hand. Always helping others than myself. Your life is always what I need. I stood idle by, Pleading you not to die. Asking why? You left us by the roadside. Taking on, Your demons for too long. Resenting, The idea that you’re gone.
3.
Reach 05:01
I’ve reached, The worst form of me. Twenty three, I want to be proud of me. I’ve reached, The goals that I had. But I’m not satisfied. I’ve reached, My breaking point, But I’m not gratified. Take me for granted, I know you’ll panic. When it is not clear, That I have left here. I am, The thorn in your side. Reminding, I left on a hillside. I’ve reached my pain threshold, But I am terrified. I’ve reached the end of this all. I am terrified. Take me for granted, I know you’ll panic. When it is not clear, That I have left here. You don’t know what it feels like, Wearing a mask, Everything’s all right. You don’t know what it feels like, Holding so tight, I’m alright. Take me for granted, I know you’ll panic. When it is not clear, That I have left here.
4.
Limbless 03:05
I have to combat insecurities, I’m compromised. Like a bulging battery, I’m dead all the time. The words you sent me, They were a sharpened hook. The place you threw me against the wall, I can hardly look. Is this what you wanted? Is this what I’m in for? Is this all I’m worth? My mistakes ponder and rise above me. Your words fog my days. But your forgiveness, It makes me want to stay. So will you take my arms? And break them off. You don’t want to hold on, To anything. Will I regain my, Void of confidence? Cover all my scars, I’m in the palm of your hands! Is that what you wanted? Me face down on the floor. (Is that what you wanted?) I’ll never trust again. (Is that what you wanted?) With your words I shut the door. (Is that what you wanted?) You were my only friend. (Is that what you wanted?)
5.
Consolation 01:06
6.
I know, This will never work out. If I don’t, Find a sense of peace. And I know now, That life is going to be this way. When your outlet, Never finds a sense of home. You search for hours and you know. Nothing will ever work out, If I don’t say it’s okay for me. What’s going on? I need peace. Of knowing something different. I find so many times. Where I don’t fit in. There is no meaning to this. A small hiccup in the universe. A small piece of life we share for nothing. Death is in everything. There is a hole where something used to be. The mountain air is dry and hard to breathe. I’m hating myself more and more at, Seven thousand feet. My mind is aching, Me. To be where I once was, Today. Is it where I belong?
7.
Rocco 03:21
There's pain in this loss, I'll get through this. Whimpering and seething, I can't get through this. You tell me how I feel, I don't feel anything at all. This destroys me, I'm dead inside. I feel something worse, Please let it subside from me. I took your ashes, Put them in an urn. Now you sit on the mantle piece. Sure I'll miss the times we had, You were perching next to me. But that's life in a nutshell, It's so damn bittersweet. You were the one thing I looked for, When I say that I am happy. This destroys me, I'm dead inside. I feel something worse, Please let it subside from me. Take, All this pain. Take, All this pain...from me.
8.
Dead Flowers 03:12
Take me to the darkest places in my head. I want to see where I belong. I wonder when I’m going to be, The best thing for me. I’ll just sit here, Until I reach my… Feat, I’ll admit defeat. In the darkest places, In my head. Use the flowers, You sent me. To console me, In death. Please send me, To a stressful grave, As a reminder. That I don’t know me, Anymore. My mental health with any solace. I’m lacking the solace to. To drown you out. Less stressed, But I’m out of place. Find some solace in some somber embrace. To facts that are not so real, It plays in my head as a demo reel. Use the flowers, You sent me. To console me, In death. Please send me, To a stressful grave, As a reminder. I know you need something better than me. I know I need something better than me.
9.
Relief 01:11

credits

released February 16, 2018

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Simon Monette at Tiny Dino Studios.
All music and lyrics by Old Notes
Album design by Emily Bolka
Album illustration by Omar Preciado

Old Notes is:
Devin Trott // Vocals/Guitar
Eli Martinez // Drums
Justin Marquez // Bass

Special thanks to: Kerri & Daisy Lopez, Gina Marquez, Paul Aguilar, Jason Senner, Cindy & David Trott, Jasmine Garcia, Rocco & Corky the Cockatiels, Dave Huffman, Dave Dykstra, Simon Monette, Crissy Sierra, Thom DeDirant, Lauren Schorr, Shirley Leslie, Andy's Room (Matt, Austin & Garrett), Matt Ciaccio-Stevens, Programme Skate & Sound, Overslept, Blake & Kiana, our whole Dungeons & Dragons group, Corky's Kitchen & Bakery, Richard Martinez, Kameron Nickel, Emily Bolka, Paul Salazar, Jacob & Connor Gill, The Unending Thread, the [r]edacted fam, and thanks to every other individual that has come to our shows, bought our music, and took the time to give us a chance. You mean the world to us.

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Old Notes Rancho Cucamonga, California

Sad tunes played by rad dudes.

Emo band from Rancho Cucamonga, CA.

Contact: oldnotesband@gmail.com

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